Salvia Trip

A Descent Into Madness - Part 1 - Deja Vu

Posted by ratatonic30 on 02/04/2009
Avg Rating:

I'm going to attempt to describe in as much detail as humanly possible about my encounters with Salvia. The problem with doing that is that there has not been a lot of visual things to describe as of yet. Instead, I'm going to try and explain the feelings, thoughts, and realizations that have occurred to me. This will be an ongoing "report" of my experiences. There will be more to come.

How I Came To Know

Before I go any further, I want to give you a quick history lesson about myself and how I came to know the Salvia leaf. For starters, I'm 35 years old and have done my fair share of experimenting. Around the age of 17-19, I dabbled with inhalants. Inhaling anything that could get me high. I did Scotch guard and carburetor cleaner out of bags. I huffed on gasoline. I was also notorious for doing freon straight out of air conditioner units and leaving them empty. I gave those up and went on to take up weed as my drug of choice. Did some LSD and shrooms on occasion shortly after high school. At 21, it was alcohol. I went on to cocaine, both snorting and smoking. As of today, I am not feeding any addiction. I've had my problems and I'm still tempted every now and then but I'm managing to keep myself together.

One evening, while lying in bed, I was changing the channels and came across a news story about some herb/drug that I'd never heard of. I don't remember anything about the report except that it was mind altering and still legal. I reached over and jotted down the drug's name. SALVIA. "I'll have to check that out online in the morning", I told myself. The next morning, I ran a search for this so called hallucinogen. Websites, videos, testimonials, buy here, buy there...everything you ever wanted to know about this "wonderful" plant leaf. So, I decided to put down a little cash on a gram of 15X. 3-5 business days via the U.S. Postal Service. I could hardly wait. Then I realized that I didn't have to wait. On my way to work it occurred to me that if it was an herb, and legal, then I should be able to find it in some head shop. Sure enough, after a few searches, I was able to locate some fairly close by. I departed work at lunch time to begin my trek into the unknown. I was a little anxious but still excited. I arrived at a head shop that was connected to a cell phone store. The manager oversaw both businesses. I explained what I wanted and he showed me his Salvia Zone collection. I was going to purchase two 1/2 gram packages of the weaker stuff at first but he talked me into getting a half of the purple. Same price. He told me that he just wanted me to "enjoy" it. I had spent about 25 minutes or so and had to get back to work soon. I wanted to do my first hit a little closer to work so I would become lost or anything. I drove back and decide to park it in front of a bowling alley. In the front, but about 50 yards to the left of the entrance and in between two vans.

The First Hit

Sitting in my car, I turned off the engine, removed the keys, unbuckled my seat belt, and prepared what I thought was a good hit. The gentleman that sold it to me also told me that my purchase was enough for about four people. So, I figured that a good toke would be about 1/4 of the bag. Being a beginner, I decided to just take enough to lightly fill the bottom of the bowl. I really just expected to see colors and objects. If I was lucky, maybe I could see more. It's just a little package. It's just a tiny hit. It's legal for Christ's sake. How much of a buzz could I get off some head shop herb? I lit up, hit the pipe, and held my breath as long as I could. That's the last thing I remembered.

"WHAT THE FUCK? WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED???" That's the only thing I kept repeating to myself as I stood outside of my car on the sidewalk. I had only a few brief snapshots in my head about what had occurred. I could barely remember. Shaking like a leaf and still not in control of my body, I leaned back into my car to grab a cigarette. I lit the cigarette and then it happened again. My car had pulled me back into the driver's seat and I began to fade in and out. I remember losing control of my head and neck. My chin went down to my chest and then I started to make circles like when you would stretch during P.E. class. Around and around she went. Totally helpless. I felt a great sense of Deja Vu come over me. I was somewhere that I had been before. It was a place that I shouldn't have come back to. I heard no voices and saw no people. I could hardly open my eyes for more than a couple of seconds at a time. I was in a place where I was exposed to the the whole world. A million eyes were watching my every move. I was being stretched out and integrated into my surroundings. It was punishment. I was being punished for coming back to this place. As if I had first came into existence by being ripped out of an inanimate object. I was never born. I never had any real memories of childhood. This was the secret that I had stumbled upon. The secret was that myself, and everyone for that matter, had come to our "normal" world from another "not so normal" world. I was being punished for discovering the truth. I felt a presence watching over me in judgment. Not one "person", like God, but a group of "people" that sat and made decisions about people's fates. I became aware that I had returned to where I had originated from and had broken some kind of "law" for doing so. My sentence was to be placed back into the inanimate world. I was being stretched and began fusing together with something (the passenger side door, perhaps). Terrible dread. Enormous fear. Words couldn't, and still can't, describe the horror. I pulled and strained and struggled...and then it was over. I woke up.

The Aftermath

Horrible panic and a great sense that I witnessed something that I wasn't supposed to. That's what awaited me when I jumped out of my car for a second time. This time I had half a cigarette with the butt clinched in my front teeth. I had to get it together quickly because the only thing I could think of was "everyone just saw that." I sat back in my car to try and relax. The sweat. The burning. My face and neck were flush and my hands and arms felt sun burnt. Very dizzy and confused. It took about 15 more minutes to calm myself down and realize that it was over. Things happened to me in that car that I can't fully remember. I have one memory of me getting out of the car for the first time, in sheer panic. It's like a snapshot that's been etched into my mind. The only problem is that it's a picture of me standing in front of my car from the perspective of someone sitting inside the car. Yes, a true "out of body" experience. Like I took a photo of myself...that is the memory.

It's taken a lot of thinking to try and make any sense out of my ordeal. My trip was based primarily on feelings and it's hard to describe feelings with words alone. The Deja Vu. Being back in a world that I knew all too well but had forgotten. The punishment imposed upon me by a higher power. A higher power that did not act alone but was rather the "spokesperson" for the millions of eyes. The only thing that I could think of to relate it to was the movie "Hellraiser." The puzzle box is solved and then you have to answer.

Comments

3 Comments - Add

Posted by alfonsdewolf on 04/05/2009
Rating: Unrated

Yes, I also was astounded by what I thought was a 'reasonable' first try. And all those...'eyes'...as I started to pull back out. All I can say is the fellow at the headshop is an idiot for not properly warning you. Most likely he has never tried it himself.

Posted by gurtboggert on 09/20/2009
Rating: Unrated

Wow, that inanimate world reality is what I experienced 2 days ago, and it was terrifying!
To me it was a reality of pure matter; just atoms and nothing else; no ego, time, life, love, or anything good and nice. I was being peeled off or rolled off and out of it like it was some kind of hideous machine (made of fabric) and out into a pocket of true reality that was in my old room. I was part of it, merged into it, I was half in and half out, and I was just waiting for it to carry on rolling so I could free myself from it, which I eventually did. It felt as real as real can be, I had no idea I was on salvia. Very scary stuff…
Did some more later and crapped when i felt that reality coming again to envelop me, it nearly did but i was concious enough to refuse to go.
Now I dont know if i was right to throw the rest of my x20 away, I just dont know...

Posted by gigrig001 on 02/21/2011
Rating:

I did salvia a couple months ago, I had done it only twice before that and each time it was just a short really giggly buzz and my perception of everything was a bit distorted. But this last time a couple months back me and my buddy tried 20x for the first time. We were parked right out front of my house sitting in the car and we had just come back from a party, we were saving the salvia for the end of the night and decided to do it in the car before we went inside. This time when I hit it and held it in, after about 30 seconds I wasn’t myself anymore, what happened was that I was put back into the real world... it was just exactly how you and ratatonic30 explained it but with a few minor differences, though it was equally horrifying. I had never felt so helpless, It was a realization that everything I had come to know and experience wasn't actually real at all. It was almost as if the life I thought I had with my beloved family, friends, high school, college, and everything else I thought to be real was just a short 15 minute break from what the truth of reality actually was. I had the strongest sense of dejavu as I felt that I was part of some extremely large machine or inanimate object. This thing or whatever it was had only one purpose, and that purpose was to keep on going and work for eternity. I felt the presence of the beings that were in charge of this machine, and I felt they did not care about me at all, if anything they were punishing me for thinking my last life or 'break' was real. I even struggled to remember my old self because it was slipping away, i was being unwinded or pealed away at an incredible speed and I became terrified because I knew that it would be this way for all eternity. I was a simple object and was the exact same shape, color, and consciousness as everything that surrounded me. But it was nothing earth like and it was not peaceful or blissful. I was an object i cant explain, but there were other things there like me that were also part of this machine or object, they mocked me for thinking my old life was real and somehow they knew about it. Slowly the consciousness of my previous life was slipping away and I was surely becoming apart of a simple consciousness of this 'machine', doomed to have the same simple existence for all of eternity. I struggled so hard to remember anything at all, I managed to remember my name and i shouted it out in this new 'reality' i was in, "my name is ____!!" i kept shouting over and over. In this scary familiar world that surrounded me, I began to have flash backs of my previous life, bits and fragments of memories of people and of places I knew. For each flashback I had I was thrown right back into that memory- in other words for a brief second I was actually there re-living that old memory in real time, but then the reality of the infinite machine would overtake me and the memory and I would be forced to 'wake up' again, as if I had blown my chances at staying in the old make believe world. It was the most bizarre thing ever, and I kept trying my hardest to fight it and remember anything I could of my past life. Then suddenly i began to come back and i faintly heard my friends voice coming from my left side, it was him saying my name sitting in the drivers seat next to me, "____ you okay man?" I was able to stammer one word, his name, " Er- Erick". He responded, "I’m here man your fine" slowly I began to see the shapes of the car interior and the windows and the car door handles again, but i was still a little unsure about where i was. After about 90 more seconds I was able to recognize that I was in my friend Erick’s car sitting in front of my house, I was still a little tingly and fuzzy but most of all I recognized that I was back and thanked god for that. I then tried to explain my experience to my friend Erick but I just ended up babbling. I would also like to mention that during the experience I NEVER NOT ONCE realized that I was on salvia, it didn’t even occur to me. It was only until i was back from 'reality' when I realized I had just tripped off of salvia. Never again will I touch that shit.

Add Comment