Salvia Trip

Caught half-way

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Posted by Sasquatch on 14/07/2008
Avg Rating: Unrated

Level:5
Type/Strength:5x
Dosage:1/16 g
Method of Ingestion:Smoked, 2 hits with bubbler, each held 20-25 s

This is probably level 4 or 5, but I do not have enough experience to judge.
Setting: Early evening, bedroom, experimental jazz music, music visualizer running on big-screen television

Sorry for the length of this, but I want to document it with as much detail I can.

This was my first real attempt to use Salvia divinorum. I had virtually no prior drug experiences (no cannabis, alcohol, etc). I tried extremely small amounts of 5x and dried plain leaf earlier in the evening, getting barely threshold effects (Level 1/Subtle). I was alone in my bedroom, sitting in an office chair. I had sanitized the room and removed anything remotely dangerous.

Just as I put down the bubbler from the second hit, I had my last clear-headed thought: "Is this enough?" At that moment, I fell out of my chair, forward onto the carpet. I had no time to move over to the bed, as planned, and I do not remember falling over (I was filming the experience with a webcam).

Half of my field of vision is black, and the other is filled with a repeating pattern of cart wheels -- the circle was vivid red and the spokes green. There was a repeated voice, or perhaps a thought, like an echo of my last conscious question. "Half", "Half-way", "Way", "half". There  were concurrent feelings of being abandoned and abandoning something. "Me" was not a meaningful concept at this point. The feeling of dual abandonment was subtly connected with a female existence, although "she" was no more concrete than "I".

I had no sense of time, although this part of the trip felt eternal. Thought was caught on fragments of reality, repeated. One side of the world consisted of repetition, the other of void. With no concept of my own body, I could still feel fear and I knew that salvia caused it. I had no faith that it would ever wear off, and this was the cause of fear.

What felt like somewhere between 15 minutes and one half of eternity, was actually 3 minutes. At that time, I regained some control over my body and leaned back against the bed, after having been still on the floor for the first part. I still have no memory of performing those motions. The video shows me raising my forearms in the air, eyes wide open and I look very frightened.

Around this time I start to regain contact with reality. One fragment at the time: the edge of piece of cloth, the texture of the carpet, like a tiny spotlight revealing each shard. I was very relieved to feel things coming back. The fact that I had not left my bedroom or the bed was reassuring, since it convinced me that I probably had not done anything really stupid during my lack of consciousness. 5 minutes after the trip began, I had regained full motor control (e.g. I was able to put on my glasses without problem).

Due to my inexperience with drugs, I was still not completely convinced that I was out of the woods. How could I know that what I was experiencing now was reality? What if I'm still under the influence? If salvia could make me feel what I had just felt, how could I know that this was not another one of her tricks? I was frustrated that I had no way of verifying the realness of my surroundings (and this is a feeling that has stuck with me, which I think is very important philosophically). I read the text on a piece of paper and a brief feeling of relief that it looked "normal" was struck back by the realization that normality was only relative to my state of mind, drug induced or not.

I knew I should probably stay in my bedroom, but I still decided to go to the bathroom. When I returned, I lay down in my bed and closed my eyes, but did not dare to keep them close due to a lingering visual effect that is hard to describe. Whether my eyes were closed or opened, it looked like the world was like a 2D checkerboard painted with the colors of reality and with each square curling and revealing the void behind it. When my eyes were closed, this effect overwhelmed me and I feared that I would have to return to the limbo I had visited earlier during the trip.

The audio visualization and busy music started to upset me. I had some trouble stopping the music, and for a second I felt like smashing the tv to pieces to make it stop. Once I was able to stop the music, I was once again relieved that the world was functioning like I was "used" to. After reviewing the recording for a few minutes, I decided to go for a walk while the last effects were wearing off. Some sounds appeared drawn-out or repeated, but then not. Like eternal deja-vu.

The fear of being pulled back into the dark wore off during my walk, and about 15 minutes from taking the hits I was back to baseline.

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