Salvia Trip

Felt like I was dying

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Posted by Anonymous on 12/02/2009
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Level:3
Type/Strength:10x Extract
Method of Ingestion:smoked (bowl)

This was my second trip on Salvia. My first was simply a fit of uncontrollable laughter and the sensation that I was being physically held and pulled by some unseen force. One day after work I decided to try it again, alone. I had read and heard that doing Salvia by yourself is a bad idea, especially if you aren't a seasoned veteran. But I had a really bad day at work and decided I wanted to escape reality for a few minutes. That was mistake #2. Don't do Salvia when you're in a bad mood. That's probably common sense stuff, but I learned the hard way.....

I was sitting at my kitchen table, beside sliding glass doors overlooking the back porch. I hastily packed the bowl and took one big hit. Held it for about 20 seconds. Seconds later I felt the embrace of the drug holding and pulling me, just like before. But this time I did not start laughing. Maybe it was because I was alone. Maybe it was because I was in a bad mood. But I soon found myself it a catatonic state, unable to move, staring at a few objects on the kitchen table (pipe, lighter, cell phone, etc). I heard a droning sound echoing through my mind. It sounded like monks chanting, deep and slow. In hindsight, it was probably the air conditioning unit outside. The objects on the table began to swirl in a circular pattern and it appeared that the round kitchen table was spinning as well, like a large saw blade. For a moment I was afraid that the saw blade would cut through me, but there was nothing I could do. I was paralyzed. And then I felt like I was dying.

Even though the saw blade did not cut me, it caused me to believe I was about to die and then I could only think of death. I felt death communicating with me. Telling me that it was going to take me now. I started flashing back to childhood memories of playing with my He-Man action figures in my sandbox. The most disturbing feeling was that I knew death didn't care about my memories. I would cease to exist and those things wouldn't matter. I was quite terrified at this point. And then I felt my physical being, my memories, all the things I thought made me what I am....they all began to disintegrate and I could myself disappearing.

After it was over I thought about what it might mean. I think it means that I am afraid of death. I found myself desperately trying to cling to my memories and physical being, unwilling to leave my body and dissolve into the universe. Death was black and cold and infinite, and I wanted no part of it. I don't feel like I've lived my life to the fullest and thus I am not ready to leave. Although relatively mild (I was still fairly aware that I was in my house sitting at the kitchen table), it was a frightening vision. But I'm glad I experienced it because it helped me realize that I need to learn to live my life freely and embrace love, not fear. I have a lot of anxiety and self-doubt, and it keeps me from who I want to be.

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Posted by Nick89 on 02/13/2009
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A great report, very absorbing and enjoyable. Also has a profound message. And the trip itself - brilliant experience.

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Posted by GreenDragon333 on 02/13/2009
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A honest and awesome report..

Knowing that you are already dead is a wonderful part of this journey we are taking inside these molds called bodies..

I am excited for you and know you will enjoy your new found freedom..

Thanks for sharing

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