I saw it all

Posted by mbzdkc on 15/02/2011
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Level:	5
Type/Strength:	40x
Method of Ingestion:	bong

Wowza, I haven't had any luck with salvia in a while, but today I've hit the jackpot: TOTAL PERCEPTION ALTERING TRIP!!!

But, I see now what this drug does. Like the DMT your brain produces when you're sleeping, it tries to rip you out of your current experience right into another world. The only problem is that your body is still awake and tries to impose it's own experience on your mind.

This time, I saw the world split away in front of me, that's the best way of describing it. it just kept splitting away more and more. And those presences kept pushing their impressions on me, they weren't really talking to me, it was more like feeling what they wanted. I felt like they were telling me that, wherever they are is the right place to be. It felt like a parent or a loving, albeit forceful authoritative person telling me what's best for me.

I wanted to go with them but, for whatever reason, I couldn't. I really tried to let my consciousness go wherever these beings were trying to take me, but it didn't work.

That's not all. The most disturbing and mystifying thing about this experience was that I seemed to have rejoined the "super consciousness" as I felt detached from who I am and where I was. I kinda thought of my life as being "that guy". I kinda realize, "Yeah, I'm playing that guy" and all the experiences of my life kinda crept past me all at once as one big feeling of regret(don't ask me why, because I have no clue). And I sort of looked down at life from somewhere above, seeing the whole human experience as trivial and senseless compared to the magnitude of what I what I was seeing on this trip.

I kinda felt bad for having wasted so much time in this our world. It was like life as we know it is just like some computer game we have spent way too much time playing, WAY TOO MUCH.

I get the feeling all of us are stuck in an endless loop of being reborn on this planet or something, and our "souls" are tired of it. At least that's what I felt as I was detached from my body for this brief period of time. It just felt like my life was little more than a savegame on a gaming console memorycard.

What struck me the most was this "realization", that "oh yeah I'm THAT guy right now" feeling, as if there was somewhere else to be and something else to do.

I never really understood when some people were talking about multiple levels of being, that there are a lot of different levels of existence above our current world. But now I somewhat do.

When I was coming down, I sat down in front of my computer and all my recent experiences kinda flashed past me and they all seemed unreal to me, as if this is all just a big dream.

Anyway, I'll stop right here because I'm pretty sure it's impossible to put all the nuances and insights this trip has brought to me into words.

Has anyone else had this feeling that human life is just kind of a front for what's really going on behind the scenes?

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Posted by grimjim on 02/16/2011
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Yes. I know precisely what you mean. I've had occasions where I feel just like that, as if you're being pointed out by other beings that the person you are looking at is actually you, and if you want you can puppeteer it much better than you are currently doing. I've often felt like the observation of myself and what life is, is almost like a "you've got to be kidding", or "you must be having a joke", kind of realisation. It always amazes me how all these feelings and ponderings during the trip can seem like a lifetime of realisations, but compressed into just a few moments of high! Your mention of sleep/wakefulness agrees with my own feeling that the drug imposes dreamtime perception during conscious wakefulness.
But the feeling that this is just a current place of residence for me, and my origins are from somewhere completely different, much deeper and more meaningful are very strong, and reassuring, even if they do make me more unsettled as to my here and now.

Posted by Sunshine 45 on 11/15/2011
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i understand that, from my trips ive come to realize that this life has no reasoning, we dont have an actual purpose for living, we all just go through the motions, great read, nicely written