My First Two Times
Posted by DonS on 20/09/2008
|Type/Strength:||Sage Godess Tincture|
|Method of Ingestion:||Sublingual|
I bought from SageWisdom the 2 oz. bottle of the Sage Goddess Emerald Essence tincture.
I went to a quiet, isolated peaceful spot near a beautiful river & created a place of power for myself to experience this.
After reading & re-reading the materials, I opted for the measured dosages for 4 minutes each over the 15 minute period. I took 2 droppers full combined with an equal amount of hot water for 4 minutes consecutively over a 12 minute period. Total of 6 diluted droppers in the 15 minute period. I swallowed the first mouthful after the 4 minutes & gagged. I spit the others out after the 4 minutes. This was described as a moderate dosage. (Level 2?)
I closed my eyes & waited about 15 minutes & experience a mild dizziness & relaxation, which quickly faded.
I waited another 10 minutes & repeated the process, with the same result. In the end, I consumed HALF the bottle this way over a 2-hour period with almost NO noticeable effect. I was relaxed, but kind of irritated that nothing much was happening. The last dosage was taken with almost no dilution, yet I held that one for a total of 10 minutes. The roof of my mouth had blisters for 3 days. Highly disappointed in the result, made worse by the realization that I'd spent over $100 an ounce for this stuff..Green Gold.
Went back to my beautiful isolated spot by the river again to try this again with new information.
It appears that the smaller measured doses over the 15 minute period didn't work for me the first time, so I did the much stronger strength (Level 4-5?) diluted with an equal amount warm honey water, & set out to hold the entire dose in my mouth for 15 minutes. 6 droppers full of tincture with 6-7 droppers full of warm honey water.
First, it's obvious I didn't dilute it enough, because I had NASTY painful blisters on the roof of my mouth. Second, it appears I only was able to hold it about 6-7 minutes before I entered a reality I wasn't prepared for. I didn't have a sitter..One because of my first lack of experience, and two, this was on a Thursday afternoon. My best friend was working, but I had the entire river to myself.
I had a small digital voice recorder to time myself & allow me to record the experience.
BUT...To sum up this experience, it fucking scared the shit out of me. I'm grateful I didn't die, hurt myself or alter my brain to the point of no return. Not at all what I was looking for or expecting. I've read the experiences I could find on this & other sites, & mine was similar, I guess; I think I just wasn't prepared for the sudden, powerful onset, nor the intensity.
I have no real way to describe it, but there was a repeated refrain of words coming from somewhere telling me "just a little more, just a little more" over & over, (I suppose telling me to hold it in my mouth just a little longer); then when whatever was supposed to happen DID happen, I was GONE. (I don't remember if I spit it out or swallowed it, probably not the latter; this is some nasty tasting shit). I felt like the earth, trees & sky swallowed me or something & I became terrified & desperate to get the fuck out of there. I felt like I became a bullfighter or matador with the towel I was using to catch the drool from my numbed mouth, using it to taunt reality or the get the chant back to something I could comprehend. (The green stuff really stains fabric..)
I was spinning vertically amongst the trees by the river. I tried to sit down & close my eyes but wherever I went wasn't ANYTHING like the beautiful space I'd tried to place myself in for this experience. I'm glad it lasted only about 10 minutes at its peak, & when I became aware of myself & surroundings again all I could do was walk around saying "What the fuck have I done to myself?"
I gradually came to, found myself drenched in sweat, sat down, ate a sandwich, drank some juice & fell into a deep sleep in my chair the woods by the river for about 30 minutes.
I had hoped to travel back to my childhood somehow, get glimpses of long suppressed memories or experiences, or at least understand them in a new way. But my terror erased or blocked any new understanding which I may have gleaned.
I'd like to try this again, but at a much lower dose, but I have to say I'm pretty flipped out about this whole ordeal, & it's left me deeply shaken & drained. PLUS, the sores in the roof of my mouth lasted 8 days & I was unable to eat any solid food for about 6 days.
NOW..I still have about 1/3 of the bottle left. I've been advised to evaporate some of it & vaporize & inhale the vapor. (I smoked so much pot in my past that my lungs are easily irritated by ANY form of smoke, but this should be such a small amount that the lung effect would be minimal.)
I want to use this as a spiritual journey, a way to unlock hidden secrets, to seek wisdom form the Sage Goddess Mother. I thought I tuned in to Spirit prior to both experiences, but obviously I wasn't on the proper wavelength to communicate with her.
I'm going back to a different (wilderness) spot to try again tomorrow. Hopefully I won't be terrified & I can ask Her to take my hand & show me the way.
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