Salvia Trip

The Little Death.


Posted by psychonaut on 01/06/2010
Avg Rating: Unrated

Method of Ingestion:smoke

I bought some 60x a while back, and have been sitting on it for a few months. I had spent hours looking at the herb, smelling the distinct flavor of it, reading up on it, and trying to get a feel for what my trip would be like, and what I would take away from it...

I had never smoked salvia before, but I once did 9.5 grams of mushrooms, which I thought was ample preparation for a small amount of some herb. Boy was I wrong. When I smoked the herb, I was barely able to get comfortable on the couch, before I started to sink into it. This feeling grew in strength and felt like I was on a psychedelic rollercoaster, complete with the background noise associated with a rollercoaster, but different. The noises I heard were more felt. They sounded robotic, and even like a terrible digital copy of a MIDI file.

Anyway, this sound and feeling was accompanied by the sense that my physical body was being spread thin across the entire universe, and my living room became a tiny speck in this giant charade of material life. I could feel my mind being deconstructed piece by piece. I first forgot who I was, then where I was, then my name, and oddly, forgot my wife last, when I hadn't even been thinking of her at the time.

Once I was completely stripped of these Earthly ties, I felt as if I had been given permission by either one, or a few billion other entities, to observe this realm fully. It even seemed like the entities I was near were almost a few billion of the same single entity. Either way, I was given a message which wasn't given to me in English, but sort of in a package wrapped up in a feeling, which I deciphered and put words to: "rebirth will be hard for me because I am stubborn." That is the best way I can word what I felt from the being.

If you were to ask me whether this message was important to me or not, now, I would probably say I don't know. I am still young, have never worried about death, but am interested in exploring the mind. I am not sure why I was given a message like that, and what context it belongs in. It did make me feel safe to understand it though, and I can still feel the message if I concentrate on it.

This being did not have a color, sound, or even shape, but was all around me, communicating in ideas and feelings rather than words. I was not scared of it, but I would hesitate to say it was god-like. It was just there, like I was.

I can't emphasize enough how I felt like I was smeared across the universe. It's almost as if we, in our solid form, make dimples in this fabric. Not just our bodies, but all matter has this effect on space time, and we have some door to the real "reality" which let's pieces of consciousness occupy matter. I saw this pretty clearly, and it wasn't shown to me, but it seemed like it was something I knew all along. This entire experience actually seemed quite familiar, yet terrifying.

When I was coming down, and my personality started coming back to me piece by piece, I looked at the ingredients of my soul, and could observe each one, and examine the flaws, the things I didn't like about myself, and of course, my addictions. A few of these ingredients I kept at the forefront of my consciousness and tried to manipulate. All I did was imagine them changing, and they would transform themselves in my trip. I feel different now, and much more grounded.

This was a few weeks ago, and I have smoked the same stuff a few times since, and have had similar trips. I focus most on the coming down part now, when I can try to manipulate parts of my ego. I'm not going to say that I am a better person yet, but I now have this inner voice which reminds me of things when I am in certain situations. It is helping me chill out, take it easy, and relax. I am starting to see this reality as a game, which I have been playing since birth. So far, I hadn't been playing it at all, but rather, was just a character in someone else's game. I feel like I am in more control of my life than I have ever been.

If you ever wanted to see what it feels like to come back from the dead, I would smoke salvia. It was absolutely terrifying for awhile, then so calm and peaceful, clear, and enlightening. That is why I named this post the Little Death.


1 Comment - Add


Posted by psychonaut on 06/01/2010
Rating: Unrated

I also want to talk about what has happened in subsequent trips since this one.

I am starting to feel all matter as interconnected. Our souls are infinitesimally small pieces of a trans-dimensional consciousness. I also am now convinced that this consciousness is choosing certain channels with which to experience this 3-D life, and one of them is the human mind.

When I trip now, I am feeling billions of other presences, which may, or may not be, the same presence. Either way, I am familiar with it, and can approach it with a dilemma.

This universe is the yang to the yin of this trans-dimensional consciousness. This universe exists to balance a force which is the opposite to the pain, and suffering we experience in a normal day of life. Most of us can only experience this pain and suffering vicariously by reading news articles about famines or wars, but it affects us all the same, because we are the pieces of a shattered mirror of what I guess religious people call God. The spaces serparating these shattered pieces are the cultures, ideas, philosophies, and even skin tone we have evolved to deal with this physical existence of loneliness and isolation.

My daily life is now filled with little synchronicities, which I never noticed before. I am a virtual life recorder, experiencing, listening to, recording memories, and just being in this world has become a gift to me rather than a struggle. I no longer feel alone. I know that every single feeling and emotion I feel will be pooled back into the trans-dimensional consciousness, and I strive to make those feelings and emotions good.

I was never a religious person, but have always been spiritual.

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