Salvia Trip

Wow what a first experience!

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Posted by andyb on 09/07/2009
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Level:5
Type/Strength:10x
Method of Ingestion:Water pipe

Date & time of first experiment with salivia:
02/07/2009 13:51

Having read all I could about salvia on the net, I prepared myself by meditating for about 10 mins in a darkened room. I then offered a short prayer declaring my intent and asking for forgiveness and protection at the same time.

The following was written directly after my experience. My apologies for it being so long but at the time I wanted to capture the experience as fully as possible.

...

This first experience was HORRIFIC. I was truly terrified. I now fully understand the need to have a sober and responsible sitter present when taking it. (I did it alone. Stupid!)

That been said, what did I actually experience?

Of course it’s impossible to capture the experience with words. Ha! How often have I heard that said but only now do I really understand the truth of it.

I was taken out of objective reality – in fact out of everything that we call reality. This life, this world, this thing called existence – I was taken out of it. When I say taken out I mean literally dragged out from above.

It began almost the instant I took the drug. I inhaled a good lung full and held it for a mental count of twenty. I exhaled and took another hit straight away. Almost instantly I felt drawn backwards and upwards into … into I don’t quite know what. I did not know what during the experience either. It seemed to me to be like blackness. It was VERY, VERY scary. The whole world around me seemed to be closing like … like a pair of scissors where I was the fulcrum. Where the edges of reality scissored in, it blended with the ‘other’ – whatever that ‘other’ was. This blending was not perfectly shaded and seamless but, instead, was like the images one sees of the land as one passes by at high speed in a car or a train, only it was so, so much more intense than this.

I immediately knew that the objective world was unreal, in every sense. I also knew that where I was being drawn to was the real ‘reality’. I fought the thing that was drawing me. I fought the experience fiercely. All I could think was that I was not ready for this because I have kids to look after and that I am responsible for. If I was free from this responsibility I do not know how I might have reacted. As it was, I became very frightened that I was being taken from reality into this other place. While I knew that reality was not real and only an illusion, I was not ready to leave it yet. I understand now that my worldly, material attachments must have been too great for me to travel the road presented to me. I feared the loss of so much that I have in this life, but most especially the loss of my children, for, even though I knew that nothing in our everyday reality was real, I also knew that it would remain despite my removal from it and would continue without me so my family and children would be left behind.

I ran around the house mumbling that this drug must be gotten rid of immediately. In my drug induced state I threw the bong and the lighter and the packet that had contained the drug into a plastic bag and got it out of the house, (luckily I had had the foresight to lock myself in so I only managed to go to the utility room). The whole house seemed alien to me. The walls and everything closed in around me in this ever closing scissor movement where I was being taken out of this illusory thing called life. The walls seemed so dark and ominous and shimmered like the moving images from a vehicle - as I mentioned before.

It was at this point that I started to come down and began to sweat profusely. I was so hot that I could not take it. I stripped all my clothes off and grabbed several paper towels to mop the sweat that was now streaming from my body thicker than I’ve ever known.

I ran upstairs and felt like I had managed to remain in reality somehow, even though everything looked strange still. I feared that I would slip back at any second if I did not maintain the fight to stay in the world of human reality though. I wanted a cold bath but I felt as though I was not in control enough to attempt it. I ran about frantically looking for a piece of paper and a pen. Managing to find one I wrote in large capitals “NEVER DO AGAIN!” and underlined it vigorously. I was desperate to remember how horrific it had been.

I returned to my bedroom where I had taken the drug and flung the curtains open. I wanted dearly to open the windows but I was afraid to. I lay down on the bed but could not find comfort since I was far too hot and sweaty. I wiped myself again and laid back. Very slowly I managed to realise that I was coming back into reality. I felt relieved but still very scared. I checked my watch. I was confused but further relieved when I realised that only about 15 minutes had elapsed. I closed my eyes for a while and remained in this position for about another 10-15 minutes. Finally I came around and laughed. I laughed because I realised that it had all been down to the drug and that I had made it back into this ordinary human world.

I started thinking that, while the experience was TRULY terrifying, if I could control the dosage better (I believe I had a very strong first experience) I might return to the state again … one day … though not too soon, thank you.

Then I felt the need to eat and drink so I made a coffee and had a few biscuits and began recording my experiences.

As a post-script, I cannot say whether the ‘other’ reality that I experienced was evil or benevolent. I was so scarred that I could not tell. I just kind of knew that this was the end of my life and I was terrified. I am tempted to say that there was no one else or no other thing but I could not be certain of this.

I remember now that whatever I was being drawn into knew everything about me and about my life. It knew my every thought, word and deed. This was one of the reasons that I was so scared.

In human reality now, even though I know that everything around me is just an illusion and that none of it matters in a material sense, I also know that what does matter totally is how each of us lives and thinks and acts in this crazy dream. I know that it is all known and stored and we shall be judged on it when we do actually die. There was no sense of time in this ‘other’ place at all. Time was just an illusion from our human reality. Thus, everything I had ever done was there in that one continuous moment. I was dying and I would be judged. There seemed no escape for me from this … at least I think, since it is hard to know if I really experienced this or if I am putting interpretations on what I experienced. This is possible, since it is now a couple of hours since I took the drug.

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Posted by divinorum_dude on 07/12/2009
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This is an excellent description of the salvia experience!

I know what you mean about not being sure if the other reality is "evil or benevolent." To me, it just feels very matter of fact, definitely not "fuzzy bunny," not evil or malevolent, not gentle, but like an unemotional worker simply performing a duty.

I'm going to quote you here:

"In human reality now, even though I know that everything around me is just an illusion and that none of it matters in a material sense, I also know that what does matter totally is how each of us lives and thinks and acts in this crazy dream."

Amen to that. This is the same realization I've had too, especially at higher doses. I've done 40x and 60x, and you get the same relaizations you mention, except even stronger. For me, the higher doses were life-altering and profound, in a good way, although at the time I felt somewhat shaken.

The scary aspect of your trips will diminish, and you'll learn to go with the flow. You'll start to become comfortable with the salvia dimension (it will become familiar to you), and you'll even feel the altered state as fun and beautiful.

Great post!

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Posted by andyb on 07/16/2009
Rating: Unrated

Thanks loads for that divinorum dude.

It's good to hear that the scary aspect will diminish. I feel at the moment as though I have discovered something truly wonderful and yet, at the same time, something potentially very dangerous.

I am at a crossroads whereby I fear to walk to narrow path though I know everything I have ever done has lead me here & if I do not continue then I may as well join all the other materialistic lab rats out there. It's a heard place to be right now but I know I can never go back so I am slowly mustering the courage...

Thanks again.

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Posted by andyb on 07/16/2009
Rating: Unrated

P.S. Sorry for all the mistypes in my last reply!

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Posted by dawnica on 09/29/2009
Rating: Unrated

I had a very similar experience. It is so fascinating to me, and very comforting, that alot of us have had the same type of experience. I was so scared and I also recall wanting to let go, and fighting with the voices that were telling me that my life was fake. I was asking, what about my children? How can this be? I felt so heartbroken. They were jeering and laughing...remarking on how I had no idea.

I have experienced ego death many times on LSD and mushrooms, but it felt far friendly and certainly not terrfying. Salvia does not play around. She shows you straight up. I know we return to the energy from which we came. We will once again become part of the workers of the universe, but I refuse to minimize the reality that I am living now.

Im still trying to figure all of this stuff out.
It has only been a few days since my salvia journey.

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